Unveiling the Light

I have been out of the blog loop lately. In fact, I have been out of most loops lately. Instead, I have been experiencing a lesson God seems to give out so well, for the betterment of myself and others, so long as we accept the lesson and are open to God's will. Least I become overly satisfied with myself, my work or my influence, I can now reflect that all of my plans, all of my intentions, and even all of my anticipation of an upcoming vacation; all of these things tumbled down and were disrupted due to the efforts of a single, lowly spider.

What I thought was a touch of flu and a sore ankle was slowly revealed to be the effect of a spider bite which became infected and landed me in Feather River Hospital for 10 days. After cutting my vacation short and returning from Oregon, I stopped at the emergency room at our local hospital and found myself feverish, tired, being pumped full of antibiotics, and finally undergoing an operation on my ankle to clean out the wound and infection. I am now released and at home but only with home health care continuing to change the bandage on the wound which had to be left open and with twice daily infusions of antibiotics. During my enforced absence I discovered that not only can the world operate just fine without me, but so can the wonderful staff and volunteers at my parish. Of course, the blog world hardly noted my absence.

I don't want to overstate this with false humility. The parish staff and volunteer boards are happy to have me back, even on a limited basis and I have stayed involved thanks to their great communication; but I have also come to better understand just how any success I may have is due to these people who dedicate themselves so much to the work of God, are willing to share their competence with their community and their willingness to take on more responsibility and work in my absence.

In my sickness God gave me several lessons. He taught me that I can back off more and trust others to get things done ... often better than I could. He demonstrated that I need to take better care of myself. God also revealed to me just how blessed I am to be part of the community of St. Thomas More and the wider community of Paradise and Magalia. Also, once again God reminded me of just how dependent I am on others and that I need to trust them even more. Yes, it makes one vulnerable to being hurt and to things not going exactly as we might have wished, but it also opens up entirely new possibilities that only come about when others are empowered to act on their faith and skills.

As usual, it is in sickness that I found my strongest connection to God. It is in this vulnerable condition that I place myself entirely into His hands and allow God to work through those around me. Sickness allows me to understand that I am part of something much bigger than myself and that if God wants it done, it will be. If I am working only from my own agenda, then all the prayer in the world only serves to further block me from God's Grace. My sickness reminded me that it is God's will that will be done, not mine.

I imagine that many others have experienced the same feelings during time of serious illness or major change in their lives. The key is for us to remember these lessons and to carry what we learn into our life, perhaps especially when we are feeling good about ourselves or our work. We need to remember that nothing we earn, create or work for in this world is truly ours and that that we bring none of it with us when our time here ends. That means that the only things that really count in life are its intangibles.

Thus it is not what we build but how we build it, not what we accomplish but how we do so. Do we include and empower others? Are we looking for the good of many or the glory of a few? Do we make long lasting friends? Do we keep our priorities on families and on those who depend on us? Are we going to leave this world in better shape that when we entered it? Do we do noble things with our lives, take sometimes unpopular stands for the truth, and always seek justice and peace in our affairs with others? These are the things that make life good and these are the things that not only enrich our lives but enrich all the lives we come into contact with.

Don't wait for illness or approaching death to reveal what is important. Those things of most importance are the relationships of our lives and the people we share our lives and faith with. It is the love we share and the trust we give. What is important are those things that can seem to make us more vulnerable as we become more connected with those around us; but which in reality expose us to the good in the world and God's love at work. God is good and God cares. God may not react the way we hope and expect but God does love us and does look out for us, although sometimes in mysterious ways.

I finish this entry by giving thanks to God for the blessings in my life. I thank God for the many friends I have made here who have made me realize just how rich I have become once I let go of the need for material richness. I thank God for the caring nurses, aids, doctors, custodians and staff at our local hospital. I give thanks that our small community is so well served by Feather River Hospital and I give thanks for God opening my eyes to see how He is constantly at work in this community which I have come to love so much.

I thank God for the healing that he has given me in my life, and for the physical healing I am undergoing at this time. Mainly, I thank God for being God and for making me part of His creation. I am not a god; I have no reason to want to be one. I have a God who loves me and reaches out to us all. It’s just that sometimes we need a little tragedy in our lives to understand our blessings. So as I now recover from this bout with infection, I give thanks to God for revealing to me once again the blessings in my life: the blessings of people who care, who share their love and who seek to heal and do well. Thank you God for making me sick so that I could experience your healing where and when I was not even looking for it! Help me to make the most of it. Help us all to have this realization of your presence and blessing and help us all to make the most of it.

God bless you all,
Father Steven Foppiano